Until the last Breath

Caught in the mundane
absorbed in all the things to do
pressed together
by the pressure of the factual,
I had no choice
because I didn’t want it.
No time.
No patience.
No need.

I didn’t need strength to fight
because I saw nothing
what was worth fighting for.
I was convinced
my view of things is correct
since I shared it with so many.
And i believed what they taught me.
And the discouragement came in the night.

I’ve seen the signs
when I looked up blinking,
Lifting the blinkers a little.
I saw, what I didn’t want to see
heard, what I didn’t want to hear
and the pictures and screams burned themselves into my soul
even if I banished them to the furthest corner,
turned away and left but I had seen them
and could no longer deny
no longer say everything is OK.

I had no strength to fight
because I didn’t want to fight
since I saw no point.
I saw the sight that I thought
was right sway and break.
I lost faith of what you taught me
but I didn’t dare say.
And the fear in the night.

When I finally opened my eyes
then i saw the crimes of this game the lies
that are drummed into us the motivations of those
who want to lock us in our little lives.
You don’t have time.
Don’t do it.
We’ll do it all for you.
We’re doing it right.
And I was weak
because how can you proceed against the mighty,
against the rich who have all possibilities
so that I kept smiling,
even if it was torture
so that I went on submissively.
I rested on it that there was so much work.
I asked for the strength to fight
because it wasn’t just about me
but about us all.
I was on my way to a new point of view
that was really right
but I kept it a secret remained silent.

I asked for belief in what I had now learned.
And courage through the night.
I saw it, the dark side,
with all their horrors and torments,
who gave me tears.
Finally, tears of despair for the disenfranchised,
tears of anger at the rulers of life and death.
I’ve watched how a life becomes
that begins and ends in captivity
a life that must never know anything else,
than this place
until the walk to death.
I faced my demons fear, doubt, cowardice,
to name and recognize them.
I have the strength to fight for those
who cannot stand up for themselves.
I know the view is right that I have,
since I took off the blinders.
I have the belief in all that I have experienced
since I looked.
And I have the courage even through the darkest night
Until the last breath.

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