I’m going for a walk with my pig

I have two pigs. I used to have dogs. When I didn’t have any more and started to think about which one I could save from all the millions in the world, a friend came to me and said I could save two animals that no longer need from the butcher. I did that too. Without asking what kind of animals they were, which was rather careless of me, because it could have been two huge bulls, but it turned out that they were two pigs. „That works,“ I thought to myself. That’s why they moved in with me. With great enthusiasm they examined the entire garden, which from now on would be their refuge. They had never before been able to romp around, play, rummage and enjoy life, because until they moved to my garden they had lived in a closed stable with a slatted concrete floor over their own excrement, crammed between many conspecifics.

Little by little they recovered from their illnesses, which were due to their previous way of keeping. I named them Merle and Merlin. In a very short time they had learned to listen to their names. One day I decided to go for a walk with the two of them, but after Merle had the harness put on without much fuss and Merlin preferred to stay in the meadow, I just went with her. First, we walked a bit through the forest until we reached the neighboring village. Everyone who saw us stopped in amazement and stared at us. One driver obviously forgot that he was driving his car and the only thing that could be heard was that the engine died, after which a loud horn sounded. People who knew us stopped and chatted with me.
„Well, nothing is too stupid for you,“ said an acquaintance who opened the conversation, who was not necessarily sympathetic to me.
„What do you mean?“ I acted innocently.
“You can’t tell me it’s normal to go for a walk with a pig. And then you slaughter it so we can have schnitzel,” she explained to me.
“What is normal is just a question of perspective. Walking with dogs on a leash is normal too. What’s the difference?”, I replied.
„That dogs are there to be companions for people and pigs are there to be eaten,“ she replied. „Quite apart from the fact that this classification is questionable, does that mean you can only walk with animals you don’t eat?“, I asked.
„In any case, it’s unnatural,“ she snorted.
„That’s correct. Putting animals on a leash is unnatural, regardless of whether they are pigs or dogs or some other living being,“ I summed up, with which I dismissed Merle.
„You can’t do that!“, my friend uttered panting, „What if it attacks me and bites?“
„Listen, what are you doing,“ I heard a voice behind me as I was about to explain that pigs don’t attack anyone. I turned to see a policeman. It was a difficult question because I was actually just standing there at the said moment and holding a leash in my hands.
„Nothing,“ I replied truthfully.
“Don’t tell any nonsense,” he replied, “You are walking a pig, which is a danger to the general public. It could attack or transmit disease. So, go back home well.”
At the same moment a big black dog came trotting towards us. The two of them, the dog and my pig lady greeted each other as if they were old acquaintances, but the owner didn’t seem to like it. With all his might he pulled his dog away from my pig, only to shout from a safe distance that we were a nuisance for the place. I looked around. Apparently, we were sure of the attention of everyone in sight. Some suddenly ran away, others looked at Merle with that greedy look that made me shiver. Perhaps it was actually a bad idea to expose her to this sick environment. So, we turned around and went home. It seemed to me as if she sighed loudly when she was finally back with Merlin and was able to dig in the ground. How lucky that pigs are not degenerate enough to be comfortable in the city.

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